This can’t be healthy…

(3)

I can see why journos say you put on weight during an election campaign.

Most of the day in an election campaign is spent sitting down. You’re either sitting on a bus, sitting on a plane, sitting at a press conference waiting for Kevin Rudd, or sitting at a wireless hotspot filing a story.

There is very little physical activity – except the occasional chasing of Rudd through a shopping mall.

You also have very little choice over what you eat. Many meals are provided, either by the airline or the ALP press secretaries, and normally involve deep-fried delicacies like fish and chips, or oversized dessert portions like giant French muffins.

If you want something different, you’re only option is normally a vending machine.

We also seem to attend an unbelievable number of ALP barbeque functions, where sausages and bacon is the staple food. In Adelaide, this was even offered as breakfast.

And then, of course, there’s the beer. Everyone knows that journos drink a lot. But it’s a bit of a misconception really – they drink a hell of a lot.

On one particular flight between Perth and Brisbane – which, I’m told, will now go down in journo history – we drank the plane dry within two hours of the flight taking off.

Luckily, we had a stop planned in Alice Springs to refuel. So a couple of quick-thinking journos decided to use the stop as an opportunity for a grog run.

They called a taxi to the airport tarmac, and then traveled to the nearest bottle shop to grab more booze. Who knows how far they drove in their search.

Needless to say, many more beers were consumed before the flight eventually touched down in Brisbane.

There were actually more shenanigans on this particular flight – including a soiled airplane carpet – but I’m told that what “happens on tour, stays on tour”, and I can’t reveal much more than that.

Overall, however, the campaign experience can be characterised as follows: beer, junk food, lollies, sitting, waiting, not sleeping, and listening to an unbelievable amount of potty mouth from all the journos concerned.

It’s certainly not good for your health. It’s not good for your weight. And it’s probably not good for your brain either.

But the election campaign sure can be a bit of fun.

And to think the media normally give a bad rap to kids attending schoolies week.