Random ramblings

(0)

I got taught at university to always make online stories “short, sharp and sensational”.

But I’ve just spent the last couple of hours filing a huge, rambling round-up of the Labor Party’s campaign launch. It’s about 1300 words - gigantic by online standards.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve run out of ideas for this blog, so if you want to read something with substance, settle back and read the aforementioned 1300 word diatribe, not this excuse for a piece.

Still here? Well I guess I better still write something then. The following are random, unconnected thoughts that have occurred to me over the last couple of days:

a) Yesterday, Kevin Rudd visited his old high school in Queensland. Suspiciously enough, John Howard also visited a school in Queensland that very same afternoon.

Of course, the Rudd trip made a better story. It was a yarn about how Rudd was returning to his roots at this old school. The Howard story was just, well, a story about an old man visiting some random school he’d probably never heard of before.

But, in the end, Howard made the front page of The Courier Mail and Rudd didn’t.

Why? Because the Howard team somehow stage-managed a photo opportunity whereby Howard was surrounded by cute little kids waving their hands in the air. Rudd didn’t provide any such photo opportunities at his school trip – and his message of the day was subsequently drowned out.

The Rudd team should take note of this. Stage managed photos are the way to go. We want more novelty shots!

b) There are two press planes in this election campaign. One is for the Rudd media team; the other for Howard. Both have been loaned from European carriers because Australia, it seems, doesn’t have any light aircraft available to hire.

The reason for this is the mining boom. It seems Australian pilots don’t want to fly around poor, tight-arse journalists around the country, when they can just as easily ferry rich miners between Adelaide and Cooper Pedy and make a mint.

So Australia had to loan one plane from Croatia and one plane from France for its 2007 democratic elections. It’s a bit of a national embarrassment really.

Funnily enough, these planes also come complete with Croatian and French staff. The Croatian stewardesses are actually really friendly. But they are quite confused by Australian journos. One remarked the other day: “Croatian men – they are nice. Australian men – they are very strange”.

Of course, it didn’t help that a couple of drunk journos were singing karaoke songs into the plane’s intercom at the time.

c) On Sunday, my computer stuffed up and I couldn’t file a story. It’s a shame, because the policy announcement of the day was on dental care, and my friend suggested to me the best headline ever: “Rudd wipes smile from Captain Smirk’s face”. Thanks, Andre.

d) I always thought Townsville would be an exotic, tropical place – with palm trees and nice beaches. But it’s not. It’s more like a rural town in central Australia. As one journo told me: “It’s Brownsville. It’s where the dirt meets the sea”.

e) When you order a basic sandwich in NSW or Queensland, it always includes beetroot as one of the base toppings. Down south, you need to pay an extra 50 cents for beetroot. What gives? Beetroot is not a base topping. It is an extra.

f) I’ve been backpacking in a suit for 2 weeks now. Really.

Geez, this could go on forever. I better stop now. Why are you reading this nonsense?